This quick post is an update to the one below it to give a little more context.
The angst described in this article has been felt by every person married more than a week. That is why the article strikes such an emotional chord. The very real presence of ebbs and flows of happiness in the marriage relationship is why I wrote this email message to my Sunday school class several years ago.
As lovers of God and followers of Christ we must be vigilant (on guard) all the time against the Deceiver. He wants to destroy our families, our health and our testimony as God-lovers.
Don’t even start to entertain the idea that divorce is the way out to fulfillment and happiness. It is a lie. God makes it clear how he feels about divorce. He hates it. Jesus said that it was a provision made for the hardness of hearts. It is not ever to be plan A. It is not something to allow your mind to wander back to as a “choice.”
The deceiver wants to steal your happiness, kill your marriage, and destroy your relationships and testimony for Christ. He does not want what is best for you. He does not want you to reach your full potential.
The presence of divorce as a perpetual and repetitive contemplation by the author of the article is what is so disturbing. She is getting lied to and she is considering the lie from all the angles.
Don’t. Do. It.
“Rather, like every other male I know, he is merely a Moderately Bad Man”
Bingo! This is the crux . . . generational, societal, American loss of respect for the man. Not saying it is not deserved, but this is it.
“I watch in frustration as my son desperately tries to talk to Will through a newspaper or computer screen or whatever other large, flat surfaces fathers place between themselves and filial communication, and yet I know in my heart that I would be mightily hard-pressed to remove this father from his son’s house.”
This is what I mean by saying it might be deserved.
Do you get the feeling that you have two very self centered people here?
I get the feeling there is a deep, deep anger and resentment toward men here, and that is framing her view.
She is buying the lie. Hook. Line. Sinker.
The title to the article was just wrong. This is not a happily married woman who is dreaming of divorce. She is unhappy, mad and resentful. Rather than daydreaming and writing articles for Oprah, she should probably ask her husband how he feels about going to see a counselor.
Probably he has a list of built up small resentments as well. Maybe he hides behind a screen because he has learned that is a safer place to be than engaged in the life of the family.
I feel like the situation described here is present in a lot of homes, christian and secular. I hope to encourage people to take the contemplation of divorce out of this volatile situation and start concentrating on what can be done to break through the layers of resentment and anger and rediscover what it means to be in love again.
In order to work through anything together, a baseline assumption that your spouse is a person of good faith is essential. If that basic foundation is still in place, then there is hope for rejuvenation. God can do it and will do it if the couple will allow Him to soften their hearts.
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